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Thank you! <3 Kelly
So yeah, I totally have a vagina, AND can fix household appliances all by myself. Damn I kick ass!
PLUS I’m STILL prego… ugh…
So I have a vagina, there’s a baby INSIDE of me, AND I can fix shit!
Sorry guys… spoken for…
;)
So I’m at work earlier, doing my job and minding my own business… All of the sudden, out of nowhere it occurres to me that… I can’t see! Not properly anyway. I liken it to the vision one has after having had their picture taken by a camera with a really strong flash. You were looking right at the camera, so the central portion of your vision is distorted or unclear for a time. But eventually this subsides and you can see again. Except it didn’t clear up or go away…
And what exactly do you do if you experience this sensation, only you’ve not been looking directly into any lights? Oh, and there’s a baby inside of you…
You freak the fuck out is what you do! You panic because the source you’re dependent upon for the answers to all your medical woes, the internet, is completely useless when you CAN’T SEE. So I took out my cell and did my best to look up my doctor’s office in my contacts using my peripheral vision… not easy.
They wanted me to come in right away… surprise. I then made a couple of failed attempts at dialing my husband’s work number, followed by a successful one. He drove me to the doctor where I did the usual pregnancy routine at first… Pee in a cup, hop on the scale, blood pressure… Then I got hooked up to a fetal monitor for about 45 minutes so they could… monitor my fetus…
Also my right hand went numb shortly after I arrived at the dr.’s office. No… no thank you…
However, after over 2 hours in the dr.’s office, 3 blood pressure tests(all normal), fetal monitoring(very good), and no negative indicators in my pee (yay!), my vision started improving and I regained sensation in my hand.
I started retaining water on Saturday, it’s just as enjoyable and glamorous as everyone makes it out to be by the way… And apparently water retention places added pressure on all sorts of things, which can cause temporary carpal tunnel (hand numbness). And the vision issue that started it all? It lasted about an hour or so. And I was told it’s not all that uncommon for women in the later stages of pregnancy to begin experiencing some temporary vision distortion or loss. Damn kids…
I’m fine now. But seriously? WTF? I don’t know how confident I am that I’ll make it all the way to my due date… Oh baby…
This was on last night’s SNL… Bridget, I thought of you!
‘Studies show that if you’re a lady, most men want to kill you!’
‘Get it, or get murdered’
I don’t even wanna know…
how that got there.
Mommy…what kind of seashell is that?
If I hold it up to my ear will I hear the ocean? Ew…
An animation made entirely from cross stitch. How awesome is that? Read about it here.
This was awesome! But, can I tell you? Initially my reaction was ‘What kind of irresponsible person leaves her 2 children at home with nothing but another child to watch them???’ But then at the end it was adorable and junk…
I originially saw this about a month or so ago, and it made me laugh out loud. SNL rarely has that effect on me anymore, but for some reason this struck me as very amusing.
It posesses all of our favorite aspects of any great infomercial, including a total moron, a loud and pushy announcer voice, and testimonial from someone who doesn’t even seem to own the product! I mean, look how well it works!
I also love how one of the only two places this item is available for purchase is at the giftshop at the Vatican! :)
Pies! Pies! Pies! Pies!
